STRANDOMS: the stray and random thoughts
February 5, 2022
Prof. S. Ramkumar
Life, Lifestyle
Stressed with the unexpected? the art of transforming dissonance to consonance!
(The image is the cover page of the College Magazine 1981-82 for which I was the Editor. The art work was done by Dr. Chandran K, 1981 batch student, later who worked as a dedicated veterinarian who is an amazing artist - no digital technologies! I thought this will be a message that can tell us "we break, to unite")
We often meet the unexpected “good” and “bad” in life. It’s usually the bad that gives us stress of hurt and sadness – the bad which we never expected! “WE” is a broad term – it’s a prism which refracts beams including kids, children, teen, youth, young, old.., at any point of time. We grow with (or supposedly have to grow with) dealing with stress as we move up the ladder of age, but the ladder has new surprises in store as we climb up (or down!) the age. We have more diverse and new roles in family and society, and hence new challenges and stress.
Stress from the unexpected bad can drive us to pessimism and doubt.
In a general sense how we take up the situations depend on the nature and type of “unexpectedness” (unexpected events and situations, in general not good happenings in life), and varies with the age and the realistic maturity we possess for the age.
Accidents, diseases, death, deceits…all these “bad” when happens unexpected (which often are, as I started this article!), it hurts and upsets us. The relationships if closer, we feel the blind end which can give us shock, confusion, guilt and helplessness and a feeling of let down by Life.
This is the start of dissonance (conflict) within us which is understandably human, for a temporary period for emotional resurgence. It is a learning phase of life -to cope with the unexpected and move ahead. In short this is what education has to mentor us for. We get expertise in knowledge domains in arts science… for what? Jobs, security, relationships…Fine! But then all these have domains beyond the Knowledge of Expertise; in fact success of life or dealing with unexpectedness is usually only by Knowledge beyond domains of expertise.
The emotional balance is built on fabric of relationships, which we need to strengthen to overcome the unexpectedness. It’s the wisdom of connectedness. Sharing and caring helps to ease them out. “Overcoming” the unexpectedness is a reality and a certainty of life which we need to learn and teach. This is the start of Consonance.
Accepting the unexpectedness, and realistically facing the “bad” is the first step to conflict resolution. This relieves us, and help us to see the faint light at the end of the otherwise dark path. Believe we are in this world capable of doing this. Clarity of mind during the turbulent times makes us strong to move ahead to deal with the unexpectedness, rather than succumbing to that!
Offer help to others, wherever you feel you can be of help in holding them to override the unexpectedness. This will help people to recover from the temporary phase of doubt and pessimism. Family, friends, people from work places, spirituality (irrespective of religions) all help us in this.
If the unexpected situation is a persistent one, intentionally created by humans, purposefully to hurt or harm, fight it or come out of the situation and lead your life, for, ultimately we seek the path of happiness in life; existing with dignity in a fearless atmosphere among peaceful relationships, is what ultimately matters. Within these we can always try finding our way opening in the front.
Share “your breaths of life” (words or deeds) for others to breathe back to life.
Life takes us through the path of unexpected falls, but as a principle of life, we fall to rise, from unfulfilled dreams, to full fillable alternates.
Consonance is blessed with every person, to melt the misery of dissonance;
it’s with us, never part with it in times of worry.