STRANDOMS: the stray and random thoughts
January 6, 2019
Prof. S. Ramkumar
Education
The unsung heroines : A tribute to Grandmas
Grandparents are irreplaceable sources of love in our life. The merry-life of grandchildren are enriched in the presence of grandparents. They are often the soul mates to whom children share all secrets and apprehensions, including how strict and tough their parents are, how silly sometimes friends are and how cruel teachers are in asking them to do homework and learn! Children have favourites among the grandparents. In an age of technology dominated by short settlements in different regions of the world for work, and nucleated families, the roles of Grandparents are changing. This is an attempt to recollect few incidences with my grandma, and I write it as a tribute to all grandparents.
“Granny expresses her approval of this attitude (of Swami) and then begged leave to start the story of Harischandra, who, just to be true to his word , lost his throne, wife, and child, and got them all back in the end. She was half-way through it when Swaminathan’s rhythmic snoring punctuated her narration, and she lay down to sleep.”
(Swami and Friends: R. K. Narayanan)
Grandma narrated stories which were short, expressive and emotional, and it’s a great feel of hearing the stories lying beside. The story-telling by my grandmother often took me to a world of imagination from where it took time to get back to the real world. I remember how she told on Krishna going to Hastinapaura to appeal for peace with Duryodhana on behalf of Pandavas, after their 12 years of exile in the Forest and a 13 nth year of incognito. He was to ask the Kingdom for Pandavas! Duryodhana wanted to show his pride, power and ego and wanted to disparage Krishna, in spite of his father and other Gurus advising him not to do so. Duryodhana instructed his court members to sit in their chairs and not stand up as respect when Krishna arrives in the Court. They all sat firm to their chairs. The reaching of Krishna was indicated through the Panchaganyam (the conch) which was blown on his way, in the chariot. The kings and ministers and Duryodhana’s brothers started shivering since their chairs shuddered on the sound of the Panchajanyam, and they started to fall from their seats! What a picture she has drawn on a nine year old and stimulated the art of imagination. The dramatic, exaggerated version had no physical gestures – all were through the gentle voice changes which brought a movie in front of me.
Parents are our ideals.. However children feel they are strict with many schedules (of course aimed at the goodness of children!). At an young age the only person who could overrule my father’s decisions on my freedom was my Grandma. She tried her veto power mainly in my interest for playing (often at the cost of the studies!) and lying idle hearing her stories. The compliments of grandma on our achievements (and non-achieving) are so heart warming.
Remember once my maths teacher, Joseph sir (an old wise man) who came home occasionally to teach me maths , taught multiplication table. One day he asked to recollect the tables and tell him which he taught several times. I could easily say the multiplication tables of one to 12. Tables from 12 to16 required some more efforts from me which I didn’t put in, especially my Grandma being around. He scolded and I started to cry loudly (if it was my parents they wouldn’t mind though). Grandma came as an Angel from inside and told the teacher “your teaching is enough”! Joseph sir couldn’t convince her in any way. My father at that time a Professor of Education came to know of it in the evening when he returned from the College. He talked to his mother and requested her not to intervene in teaching. However she refused to hear him saying “any teaching which makes the child cry” is not real teaching! I was so happy when she reminded my father on how he has studied without getting any scolding or slaps. He had answers but was difficult to explain in front of me!
When I was eight I was to write the Sainik School exam. Grandma told my father that it’s not a good idea since I will be moved away from family to a hostel at a young age. Father had his reasons which were fair and asked me to write that. Though he was serious on me attempting it, grandma had a personal session with me on why that life would be difficult. Anything for her! I made sure I didn’t get through the test! The attitude of taking certain things lightly in life might have been planted in me by her.
Grandma used to explain about the relatives, relations and was open in her versions of who are good and who are not so. They were straight talks- simple and loving – and offered unfiltered joy. I used to enjoy helping her crush the betel leaves (vettila) and areca nuts (paakku) in the small stone, kept for that, which was her most relaxing time.
A grandma’s presence in a home moulds the children, without her/his knowing and, they are often least credited to this personality formation. Grandmas are always a joy – whether we are sad, angry or happy they “talk to” and “feel you”. They hear to all our petty complains and silly stories at home and school, and join us. Grandma to grandchild is a special bond.
Though short, I cherish the best moments of my childhood and now realise the depth of impact it had in me. Above all I loved her nose-jewel stud, mukuthi (the red stones in gold nose stud). She had the aristocracy of maturity, unbounded love, a simple and straight heart.
Grandmas – the invisible evangelists who shape us!