Children
February, 20,2023
Prof. S. Ramkumar
Being a parent : for Toddler to Teen
1. Parent-first, friend-next
Be a “friend” to your child; but always, first be a “father” or “mother”.
Never be hesitant, worried or upset to say “No” to a child for things which need not be done : nicely and truthfully narrate why you said No – let her/him realise that your No is a beautiful good!
Appreciate the child for all the good (s)he speaks and does. Never hesitate to compliment on any nice things – irrespective of whether its small or big as you may feel. “Google” your “child’s mind” to give the best. Handhold to understand and explore the world as it is!
That helps make them fit for tomorrow.
2. “Listening” parents
A child should be able to open her/his mind confidently to a parent.
Never blast at a mistake of a child in the first instance.
Listen to a child patiently. “Show” the child that you are listening. Even if you are doing something serious, just pause or postpone it for few minutes to give attention to what the child wishes to say: maybe a worry or complain. If you are attending a cell phone, keep it down or away and listen!
If you simply listen, it gives comfort to child. This comfort that you will listen and help/support/guide the child, gives confidence for her/him to tell anything to you.
Listening also includes “‘observing” your child on what is not being told by words. Keep an eye on his/her usual nature, alertness, energy, happiness.. If you feel something is not normal to your child, calmly look into and find why so.
If you are upset and angry with what your child has done or said, hold it, within you. First listen. After listening and soothing, you may add a tough voice to conclude, if needed!
Remember:
“if a child is hesitant in opening her/his mind to a parent, parenting is at flaw somewhere” – examine and change to facilitate the children to come and tell you.