Love..

Changing our mindset

by with No Comment Love

STRANDOMS: the stray and random thoughts

April 10,2023

Prof. S. Ramkumar

LifeStyle

ADAPTABILITY : the ability to change "MINDSET" depends on the strategy

PREJUDICES

CHALLENGE

We hold onto beliefs formed from childhood, which can limit our perspective, unless it is reviewed and learnt continuously with the changing times.

STRATEGY (How to change)

Decide self, to keep an open mind. Actively seek out diverse viewpoints. 

Read books by different authors, watch documentaries on unfamiliar topics, and have conversations with people from different backgrounds. 

Question your own assumptions, and be open to changing you mind.

COMFORT ZONE

CHALLENGE

We create the space of thinking and doing which we feel comfortable. We resist stepping outside our comfort zone, where familiar thoughts and actions reside.

STRATEGY (How to change)

Set small, achievable goals that push you slightly beyond your comfort zone. 

Celebrate your progress, no matter how small. 

As your confidence grows, gradually increase the difficulty of your goals, which you can!

SELF IMPORTANCE (Ego)

CHALLENGE

We all have ego and it is good as far as it defines our selfworth. Often we tend not to change some things because of bigger ego we carry. Ego can be both helpful and harmful. A healthy ego provides selfworth, but an inflated ego hinders growth.

STRATEGY (How to change)

Focus on learning and improvement rather than “proving yourself”. Celebrate the achievements of others, and see them as inspiration, not competition.

EXPECTATION (FROM OTHERS)

CHALLENGE

Fearing disapproval from others can prevent us from taking risks or trying new things.

STRATEGY (How to change)

Recognize that you can’t control the expectations of others.

Focus on your own goals and values, and surround yourself with supportive people who encourage your growth.

PASSIVITY (Laziness)

CHALLENGE

A lack of motivation can make us resistant to change.

Passiveness makes us slow or not to change. In a way it is inherent laziness to do new things.

STRATEGY (How to change)

Break down large goals into smaller, manageable steps.

Find an accountability partner who will support your efforts.

Reward yourself for completing tasks, and celebrate your progress.

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LOVE ..

by with No Comment Love

STRANDOMS: the stray and random thoughts

April 10,2023

Prof. S. Ramkumar

LifeStyle

LOVE ..

(Love is an experience of search; it is a means than an “end”. Though we try to see the beauty of love and often plunge into the feel of love, the path in search is the pleasure of love. Nature depicts this in different ways. Love is a veiled beauty, beneath which is the stable symbol. This may be unseen, unfound. In life the path itself is the journey of love, or search for love!)

1.

The twilight ripples of shade
wavers in the moonlight to
swaying shapes,
gruelling
to glance that stable beauty .
As a flickering flame
of a glowing lamp,
that dances
with the kiss of the breeze
that browse through –
the search to see the beauty “still”
grows eager and dear !

2.

Silhouette of the sylph
spreads the smile from
the trembling lips,
whisking
through the cool of night
warping the minds
with that misty veil.

3.

The glow that glare
under the moon,
the shining eyes of bright 

beneath the brows
of the seagulls’ wings the seas in the eyes
with the depth of
calm and color
valour and vigour
ripples and rattles –
sails
to the unseen shores
and unfound treasures of love.
The jittery joy
to drench
in the spoondrift
beside the sea!

4.

In the hymn of silence,
the beams of moon
knit the subtle veil for her!
Beyond is
the charm of cheer,
the wait for the unseen
beauty!

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Understanding “Trust” in a relation!

Understanding “Trust” in a relation!

by with No Comment Uncategorized

STRANDOMS: the stray and random thoughts

April 10,2023

Prof. S. Ramkumar

LifeStyle

Understanding “Trust” in a relation!

Have you ever felt sometimes someone (close or distant) has broken the trust you held for him/her?
But then was it your definition of “trust” that was broken?
“Mirror, mirror on the wall, Who is the fairest of them all”! “Beauty” and “Trust” are two important virtues every human being requires to live upto.
Interestingly “trust” too, like beauty, depend on the mirror you hold, and the interpretation you make!
Hold on that mirror to see “you” and interpret.
Check on what can be trust…

Zooms the light of honesty that travels with a life of success.

Trust is the mind to accept others “as they are”, and not as “we want them”.

Trust binds the bountiful beacons of happy relation!

Trust accepts the choice of others around to do what they love to

Trust brings Beauty and goodness

To the beings around!

Trust travels with tolerance.

Trust is being a part of the life of others, to travel with.

Sail through the sacrifices, hard times, temptations and struggles,

to closely hold on the trust and, assure the triumph of trust.

Look at the mirror of trust, to see you, and say –

“Don’t think of trust Just trust your thinking!”

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Be that…

by with No Comment Uncategorized

Be that...

Be that fountain
that never fades
in the fall of rain!
Within the pouring rain,
Whisking
the glade of green with gleam,
Be that dense, dazzling, darling,
fountain that soothes
the eyes and ears
of souls!
Free the fetters,
to fly up and
flip down;
Be that visible beauty,
beneath the blanket
of streaming summons of life!

- Prof. S. Ramkumar

Being a parent for toddler to teen

Being a parent : For Toddler to Teen

by with No Comment childrenLifestyle

Children

February, 20,2023

Prof. S. Ramkumar

Being a parent : for Toddler to Teen

1. Parent-first, friend-next

Be a “friend” to your child; but always, first be a “father” or “mother”.

Never be hesitant, worried or upset to say “No” to a child for things which need not be done : nicely and truthfully narrate why you said No – let her/him realise that your No is a beautiful good!

Appreciate the child for all the good (s)he speaks and does. Never hesitate to compliment on any nice things – irrespective of whether its small or big as you may feel. “Google” your “child’s mind” to give the best. Handhold to understand and explore the world as it is!

That helps make them fit for tomorrow.

2. “Listening” parents

A child should be able to open her/his mind confidently to a parent.

Never blast at a mistake of a child in the first instance.

Listen to a child patiently. “Show” the child that you are listening. Even if you are doing something serious, just pause or postpone it for few minutes to give attention to what the child wishes to say: maybe a worry or complain. If you are attending a cell phone, keep it down or away and listen!

If you simply listen, it gives comfort to child. This comfort that you will listen and help/support/guide the child, gives confidence for her/him to tell anything to you.

Listening also includes “‘observing” your child on what is not being told by words. Keep an eye on his/her usual nature, alertness, energy, happiness.. If you feel something is not normal to your child, calmly look into and find why so.

If you are upset and angry with what your child has done or said, hold it, within you. First listen. After listening and soothing, you may add a tough voice to conclude, if needed!

Remember:

“if a child is hesitant in opening her/his mind to a parent, parenting is at flaw somewhere” – examine and change to facilitate the children to come and tell you.

6

The Last Man

by with No Comment Poem

The Last Man

(The title reflects on the imaginary last human being on our planet. It can be a man or woman but for consistency and rhyme mentioned as man. It is essentially the outcome of foolishness of the human species which did not care for a future life of the planet with happy humans. It is time for us to think and act wisely so that one of our grandchildren doesn’t turn out to be the last man!)

Walking through the days and nights,

to the endless horizon,

I see none like me;

the world is weird,

with empty paths and hollow boundaries

and me the only being!

Thirsty, I reach for water,

not a drop anywhere,

hungry, I search for food,

scanty greens of trees and plants,

to flash somewhere.

Walking beside them,

only tirades to travel with!

I realize, I am the only man,

left as a trotter in the globe,

which doesn’t need a map anymore!

I stroll –

besides the canopies of computer heaps,

with peeping glitters of piled up phones,

and the mountains of dreadful weapons.

I run –

past the endless dumped graveyards

dead with unsung diseases;

All from unknown hatred and known wars!

Realize I am the only man

and wander fast to see

a being to be with;

but only to be left as the last man.

I see the comforts of life

built by devotion and sacrifice,

for need and greed, frozen in every street.

The cruising ships still

and staggering in every sea,Cars and buses left packed in every space;

the jets that jutted the busy travel era

zigzagged silent in the large ports;

the empty malls, huts and houses,

the sand less sea sides,

with no lives in them!

I walk with zeal

To find a being on the way,

Through seasons that spelled,

Anew which I never felt:

Snow in summer, heat in winter,

buds in autumn and

Falling leaves in spring….

I walk with zeal

To find a being on the way,

To tell her/him what I see, feel and sense;

But to also find

not scared or worried

in the lost and lonely world.

For,

Worried and scared we are

only with a world of beings around!

Alone, I walk to find a being.

For,

the wealth, joy, love, sorrow, hope or happiness,

has no meaning without sharing.

Language and symbols turn needless,

as I speak to myself,

only with thoughts.

Alone,

we don’t “live” only “exist”,

to the panic and pressures of an alien world.

As the last man to leave this world,

I wish in wane to have a being left,

To sing the story

of the beauty of this world,

not to be faded forever to a lost humanity!

- Prof. S. Ramkumar